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Some information will be out of date. Some of this writing goes
back to 1995.
See Tiki Road Trip (2007 edition)
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Trader Vic's
Atlanta Hilton
Atlanta, GA
January, 2005
I have been a bit remiss in not giving a full
review to the Trader Vic's in Atlanta much sooner.
Give me a break: this site has only been
on-line for ten years
now...
Although it was one of the last locations in the original Trader Vic's
chain to open (before the tragic Tiki recession of the 1980s), it
is also one of my favorites.
Trader Vic's Atlanta, like so many
other classic Trader Vic's, is in the lower level ('basement' sounds so
dark and damp) of the Atlanta Hilton. If you happen to be
staying in the Hilton, you can turn on the
television in your room, and tune in to a continually repeating loop of
Trader Vic's television. TV TV! There's only one thing ever
on that channel, but it's better than 99% of what is on the other
channels... It is essentially a 5-minute infomercial or
propaganda piece, but after
watching it you will certinaly want to go quaff a Zombie.
Do not
watch it after Trader Vic's is closed, or you may suffer withdrawal
symptoms.
I'd also like to point out my crush on the model in the
video, who - against all odds - was at Trader Vic's filming the SEQUEL
to
the infomercial last time I was there. You have to love truth in
advertising. I saw her on the TV loop, went down the the
restaurant, and there she was. Brilliant. The day I saw her
there was only her second trip to Trader Vic's, ever (the first being
thee day she filmed the original video, of course)! She wouldn't
give me the time of day, even though (or because) I was signing copies
of Tiki Road Trip at the moment. Anyway, I knew what time
it was: Tiki Time.
I can't wait to stay at the Hilton again so I can scope out the new
(and only) show starring my pretend girlfriend on The Trader Vic's
Channel.
Eventually, you'll have to tear your eyes away from the TV, leave your
room, and go down the elevator.
That's how you get to Trader Vic's.
Leaving the elevator, the urban explorer bound for paradise is treated
to a nicely tropical lobby, which leads past a display case full of
Trader Vic's merchandise and into the restaurant proper. Inside,
a large foyer immediately sets the tone, with all manner of wood
carving in various Oceanic styles: Maori wall panels, New Guinea
shields, and Marquesian Tikis.
Ahhhh.
Home.
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The series of rooms continues, forming a labyrinth
of smallish dining
areas that appears to go on forever.
Fine by me!
The bar is the first of these many rooms, and is frequently manned by
Joel, perhaps the best TV bartender since Victor Bergeron
himself.
Joel rocks my world. Yeah, he makes the drinks exaclty the same
way all of the other Trader Vic's bartenders are trained to, but he
does it with panache. And he
seems to give a darn about his craft. Okay, forget the model in
the video. If I were gay, I'd love Joel instead. But I'm
not. So I'm still going to pine away for the model in the video.
And her watch.
As is the case in the Emeryville store, one can wander around for quite
a while admiring all of the Polynesian-style carvings, and the vintage
memoribilia. Sadly, the string of dining rooms eventually ends on
the opposite end of the restaurant from the foyer, and at this point
there is another door, leading to the outside world. Even though
there are a few great Tiki carved by Milan Guanako outside, don't go
through that door! Stay in Trader Vic's! The outside world
is yucky and smelly, and hot, and loud, and dangerous. Trader
Vic's is cool, and safe, and full of Tikis and mai tais. Go
there. A lot.
Update:
Yeah, I said I wasn't going to update this site anymore, but here I am
in August of 2006, proving a link to a video shot at Trader Vic's on
the night I referenced above. This not the aforementioned sequel
to the infomercial (which you can only see by watching TV at the
Atlanta Hilton), but a third Tiki propaganda masterpiece featuring my
silent paramour in a supporting role sipping a cocktail.
http://www.tripsmarter.com/atlanta/videosframes/asf/atl_tradervics_high320.htm
Guess what, I do a cameo in this one too, so that menas that me and my
girlfriend (even if she doesn't know it yet) and I are in the same
video.
This makes us practically engaged, I think.
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