This is an archive - these pages are no longer updated!
Some information will be out of date.  Some of this writing goes back to 1995.
See Tiki Road Trip (2007 edition) for the most up-to-date information.

Bali Hai
Santiago, Chile

BALI HAI HAS CLOSED.
Full review and history of Bali Hai
available in Tiki Road Trip
..

After spending the better part of a week on Easter Island, I found myself in the Bali Hai Restaurant within two hours of landing in Santiago. The irony of this situation was not lost on me.  A week earlier, I would have been absolutely delighted at the sight of the four life-sized Moai guarding the front of the place.  Had they been aflame, they would have put Kahiki’s (Columbus, OH) pair of guardians to shame.  While no less excited now, I found that the relaxation, the intellectual stimulation, and the spiritual advances I found on the Easter Island trip were almost being mocked by this latest entry in my long, long list of Tiki Bars explored, drank dry, photographed, and dutifully catalogued.  But never mind that.  It was time for a Zombie. I really had no idea what to expect of the Bali Hai.  A fella named Octavio had tipped me off to the place after seeing this web site back in 1998, but his message was brief.  Some of the locals were able to tell me that it was an “Easter Island themed restaurant”, but that was about it. What did we find there? Do you want to hear all about Bali Hai? Sorry, you've got to read Tiki Road Trip for the full story... But here's a little bit about the floor show: The house band warmed things up, and this is where the night got truly interesting.  The band featured the world’s oldest keyboard player, a bassist who really wanted to be Mick Karn, and two hot young wahines on backing vocals.  The MC said something about the Platters, and as we tried to decide if he was talking about dinner or Motown, this ancient old black guy came out on stage.  He was the lead singer of the Platters.  This was the ultimate ‘where are they now’ story:  the lead singer of the Platters is spending his time singing with the house band in a Polynesian restaurant in Chile on Tuesday nights.  Wow! After busting out The Great Pretender, he moved into a few other Platters hits, and then got down with a Tony Orlando medley.  I kid you not.  After a few other classics, he took his leave to great applause.  The band left, and a group of traditional Chilean musicians took over, providing the soundtrack to a show of traditional Chilean dancing.  Cowboys danced around with hankies, as did their elaborately dressed paramours.  A quick costume change, and three other Chilean dances followed. After all of this surrealism, the house band returned, and backed the new group of dancers, now doing Polynesian dance maneuvers.  The log drums came out, and the usual hula dancers and fire dancers did their thing.  The entire show went on for like two hours! But wait!  There’s more!  The MC recognized that there were plenty of touristas present, and after interviewing audience members, he had the band do a song from each of their home countries.  The United States were honored with When The Saints Go Marching In.  One patriot at a table near us was so moved that he whipped out a harmonica and started playing along.  His buddies were obviously annoyed, but this young fella really got into the spirit and continued to jam with the band from his table all night, much to our dismay.  If this isn’t weird enough, some residents of the UK were honored with a sing-along rendition of Yellow Submarine.  Keep in mind that most of the crowd had Spanish accents.  Mai Tai spurted out of my nose when I heard 150 Chileans singing “We all live in a Jello Submarine...”. The aforementioned Octavio replies... I saw your review on the Bali-hai in Santiago and I have to agree with you, the Mai-Tai's are pretty horrible..they tasted as if they were made with Tang or Cool-aid. Other than that, when I visited Bali Hai last February, the staff thought I was insane- they were wondering who this tipsy-aloha shirt-tattooed-gringo who was running around taking pictures of the toilets was!  The place was pretty neat- I guess they have to accomodate the tastes of the tourists.  But the vibe you get when you walk in and hear Martin Denny is quite surreal...for such an oddball country . During the show, I ended up on stage with my shirt off and a grass skirt dancing with the girls.. When I used to live in Chile 15 years ago, the same Platters singer was headlining some variety club..I'm surprised he's still alive. I did buy a bunch of those mugs and some other goodies... ....

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